Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Messages from my iPhone that made me flip it off...

For about 10 minutes today, I was convinced that my iPhone had begun to read my mind and interpret my thoughts and feelings. I was convinced that it was speaking to me and trying to convey some huge message that I alone could comprehend.

Let me explain...

So I was at work and was listenening to some jams on my iPhone. I was half way through Kesha (I refuse to use a fucking $ instead of an "s" in that ass-hat's name) We R Who We R; and as I was bopping my head to her talk about how she's got her "hot pants" on and I started going downhill really fast.

When the thought of her in hot pants popped into my head, all I could think about was some images that I saw of her on the beach and how she looks just like John Travolta. From there I couldn't get the image of Danny Zuko in hot pink daisy dukes and dirty blonde wig trashed in the middle of a club clinging to an empty bottle of Jack.
Think this, but even worse...

This is about the same time I began questioning my own existence and if I am even worthy of being alive because I let myself listen to this total dribble.

Then... the song changed, and my iPhone had my FULL attention.

When I heard the first few words of Third Eye Blind "Jumper", I knew my iPhone was speaking to me. It was telling me that there is so much more to live for and not to give up!

After that, my new iPhone guru serenaded me with "Mad World" by Gary Jules.

If you have not heard this song yet, there is a part that includes the following:
     Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
     No Tomorrow, No Tomorrow
     And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
     The dreams in which I'm dying are the the best I've ever had

Does my iPhone think I am truly suicidal? As that song came to a close I was anxiously awaiting the next one;  which I was expecting to provide me with a mind blowing epiphany that would lay out the rest of my life like a map from Steve Jobs himself.

So you will understand my surprise when I heard Madonna singing "Like a Virgin".

Thats when I was all, "Ha! Fuck you iPhone! You don't know me!"

I guess it's back to fortune cookies and reading signs in my soup until something more prolific comes along.
Oh well. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

no, iphone was right. it's the whole cycle of life thing. death (suicide) and the purity of rebirth (virginity)... you see, madonna sings "like" a virgin. as if she's returning to her virginity. born again. eerie!

-anonymous (but u prob know who this is!)


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